
Every so often I get a little burst of inspiration. It’s not so much that I have an unrelenting urge to paint a Sistine Chapel Master piece, more so that things I see, people I meet and things I read seem to rub off on me and I get one step closer to figuring out who I am, want I want to achieve and where my values truly lie.
Life events so far this year have been a major distraction, resulting in my normally obsessive compulsive focus slowly transforming into a muddy puddle of vagueness and lacklustre appeal. On the other side of the coin I’ve been a desperado trying madly just to keep up with myself. I know that makes no sense, however there is most definitely a few Rohan’s residing in this little ol’ head of mine. Thankfully for me I live with my bestest buddie (BFF), Kim who is a constant supplier of stability while I’m as stable as tumbleweed in a western movie.
Anyway I do ramble; the point is that recently there have been snippets of this odd feeling creeping inside me. It resembles calm, reassurance and structure. Is there a possibility of me being content (my all time life long desire)? Am I growing up?
I’ve learnt that I can’t keep up with everyone, I’m not uber cool, I’m not up with the latest, I’m not setting new standards, I’m not EVERYONES best friend,……I am however doing what ever it is that I want to, not being driven by forces that for a long time have been taunting me, indirectly and unknowingly.
No I’m not saying that all my problems are now solved, far from it. But at least I have something that my medication can’t provide, and that’s hope.